Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Fast Forward...

In 2007, we got pregnant with triplet boys with our first invitro cycle. We were overjoyed...after all, we got the 3 for one deal! At around 18 weeks, one of our sons died intrauterine and that started a chain of events where I was hospitalized and we lost a baby every two days, for a week. It was horrible...worst case scenario. Full labor, epidurals, hemorraging, DNC and blood transfusions. We thought our world had ended and for a time...it did. We mourned with the support of family and friends. We joined a support group...Share Atlanta. We talked and clung to one another. Nothing helped but time. We will always miss our sons. They are always as part of us. We have tried to move forward and not live in the grief but sometimes, it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. We eventually gained strength and we feel like we can tackle anything together. After all, we have been through the worst experience...losing a child...or 3 children. We tried to understand why us, ask God, why our children but the only peace was found was that maybe God had a bigger purpose for us and our boys. Maybe they would have been born premature (which is common with multiples) and it was more than we could handle. We lived to tell our story but changed and with a permanent sadness, a permanent scar on our hearts and cynicism in our soul. We lost the innocence of pregnancy and the joy of starting family. We eventually gained enough hope to try again. After all, I wasn't getting any younger. I had to be brave and strong to fulfill our desire to be parents. The worst had already happened and nothing could be like that heartache. Or so we thought...

No comments:

Post a Comment